Living Funerals

History of living funerals

Although the origins of living funerals are difficult to trace, they started to gain popularity in Japan during the 1990s. In South Korea and Thailand, people use living funerals to let go of the past and feel reborn. In Thailand, funerals play a part of the addiction treatment programs and are considered a salient part of the healing process.

Key features of a living funeral

• Celebration of life - the focus is on celebrating the person's life, achievements, and relationships.
• Personal involvement – the living person can actively participate, share stories, and express their feelings.
• Emotional closure - it provides an opportunity for family members and friends to say their goodbyes, offer gratitude, and show their true emotions around the person’s life and what it has meant to them.
• Customisable - the event can be tailored to reflect the living person’s personality, values, and preferences, often including music, readings, or rituals that are meaningful to them.
• Uplifting atmosphere - while emotions may still be bittersweet, the tone is often joyful and celebratory.

Reasons to have a living funeral

Sometimes people want to celebrate their life while they are still alive. Or perhaps they would like to plan and also pay for their own funeral, in a different way, eliminating the stress and costs for their family.

Some people opt to take control of how they are remembered and design an event to reflect their personality, values, and preferences, ensuring it aligns with what makes them happiest.

Or, at its simplest, it may be that a living funeral offers a wonderful chance to gather those who mean the most. A life can be celebrated while still alive with the living person being able to actively participate in their own celebration, sharing joy and gratitude with those they care for. It also provides an opportunity for close family members to say goodbye, resolve unresolved feelings, and express their emotions openly which can be extremely comforting.

A living funeral can also often strengthen relationships through the creation of tighter bonds and create lasting memories. Family members can reconnect, share stories, and celebrate the impact the one being honoured has had on their lives. It may also reduce regret for those people who in other circumstances may not have been able to say or do certain things before someone passes. A living funeral ensures they have the chance to express their feelings and create meaningful moments together.

Other reasons include choosing this as a person may be terminally ill and know they are going to die or they might be getting older and want to celebrate their life and their relationships while they are still able to do so. For the person reaching the end of their life, they are able to regain some control regarding arrangements and they can confront death on their own terms.

What happens at a living funeral?

The ceremonies are an opportunity to hold one last celebration. They can incorporate reflections of the person’s life; favourite memories can be shared and it is a chance to reminisce on favourite songs and events. It is a deeply personal event and what happens will vary widely depending on the living person’s preferences, cultural background, and the tone they wish to set.

Living funerals are gaining in popularity as shown by recent the celebrity funeral of Kristin Hallenga who died, aged 38, of cancer. She is a great example of someone who embraced the creativity and she called it a FUNeral:

'My eulogy was beautiful': Kristin Hallenga on throwing her own funeral

Common elements and activities that often take place at a living funeral include:

• Celebratory atmosphere – usually uplifting focusing on the joy and beauty of the person being honoured, rather than an emphasis on mourning
• Music, decorations, and activities are included to reflect on the person’s personality and tastes.
• Speeches, tributes, stories and letters are given by family members and friends to express their love, gratitude, and memories. The living person may also speak, sharing their own reflections, life lessons, or messages

• Memories are often shared including anecdotes, photos, or videos that highlight significant moments in the person’s life with memory boards, slideshows, or video montages used to visually celebrate the living person’s journey.
• Cultural, spiritual or religious rituals including prayers, blessings, or symbolic ceremonies may be included to provide comfort and a sense of continuity.

• Keepsakes and mementos might also be given to atendees such as personalised notes, photos, or items that hold special meaning to the living person.

• Reflection and gratitude can be included with the person being honoured, acknowledging the impact they have had on their life. And attendees might also be invited to share what the person means to them, creating a heartfelt exchange of appreciation.

• Farewells and goodbyes can be part of the ceremony with either a formal or informal opportunity for attendees to say their goodbyes, offer hugs, words of love, or final wishes. This can be a deeply emotional and healing for everyone involved.

Food and drink is often part of the event, featuring the living person’s favourite foods or drinks. This can be a casual gathering or a more formal sit-down dinner, depending on the tone of the event. Music and entertainment can be provided, and a personal touch can be added by performances by family members, friends, or hired entertainers.

Should you organise it yourself or choose a funeral director?

Choosing a funeral director to help plan and organise a living funeral can provide numerous benefits, even though the event is non-traditional in nature. Funeral directors offer guidance, support, and practical assistance to ensure the event runs smoothly and meaningfully. They are experienced at organising events that are emotionally significant or logistically complex.

Funeral directors can help you design a living funeral that reflects the living person’s wishes while managing details such as venue selection, seating arrangements, and timelines. Logistical support is added as planning a living funeral involves coordinating many moving parts, such as catering, audiovisual equipment, transportation, and guest accommodation.

Funeral directors will also add a compassionate dimension and can provide support to the living person, ensuring the event remains a positive experience. They can help relieve the burden on the family as planning an event while dealing with the emotional weight of a terminal illness or life transition can be overwhelming.

Why choose CPJ Field for your living funeral?

As a progressive funeral director, we acknowledge that attitudes around death and how we approach dying are changing very quickly. Consequently, celebration of life services are becoming more and more popular allowing someone’s life to be honoured while they are still alive. Just as with a traditional funeral, our funeral directors can offer personalised funerals to reflect the personality of the person it is being held for. Due to our experience and knowledge CPJ Field can simplify the planning process, providing advice and ensure everything is handled appropriately and professionally.

Whether it’s a small, intimate gathering or a large celebration, living funerals can be tailored to be deeply personal and memorable, leaving a lasting impression on everyone involved.